My birthday is coming up-- June 5, and this year, I'm turning 25. It's a big deal to me. I usually attempt to not make a gigantic thing out of my birthdays. I'm happy with seeing my friends and family, sharing a meal with them and laughing at various things till I cry. But this year, even though I don't have a party or anything planned, it's a Big Deal. When I was little, I was sick. Really, really sick at times. First, they didn't think I'd make it to 6 months. Then a year, then three, then five, so on and so forth. The last age that they "capped" me at is 25. Eight more days, and the doctors get to eat crow pie, because I'm still very much alive and kicking.
I'm excited to be turning 25. There's so much that's happened in my life that I never thought would- I've found a great guy, I have amazing friends, I have the most beautiful little boy in the world... I have family, love and acceptance. Everything that I've always dreamed of. And in the next year, I'll have my health to work on.
I've gotten a few requests to post up a wishlist, so here goes in no specific order:
- A bread machine. The one that I have is both quite old and was partially borked when it was handed down to me. It's a great machine, but it's hit the stage that I have to do quite a bit of percussive adjustment when I'm using it or it tries to send the mixing handle flying off into my bread. Sometimes, it randomly turns itself off halfway thorough the loaf. It's not a nessicity to have a new bread machine... but I like making bread and jam and other such tasties with it.
- Small jars for my spices/herbs/cooking extras. Right now, they're chilling out in plastic baggies, crammed into a box. I love mason jars, but I haven't been able to find any of the smooth-sided ones that are tiny. Since I buy my herbs in bulk, I really need a better way to store them.
- Doctor Who things! I don't really care what, even if I already have it. I love the show. My favorite things are the Weeping Angles, 10, 11, Jack Harkness and River Song.
- Anything hand made. I have a deep, deep love of anything that someone has made, sewn, drawn, baked or otherwise crafted with their own two hands. Even if it's silly or might be odd, or odd looking, I will love it. Handmade things are full of love.
- Sheets for our bed. We only have one set, and it's full of holes.
- If you're a gift-card type person, I'd love anything to shop at Michael's, Target, WalMart, Glamor Doll Eyes (a website that sells eyeshadow), Lush, Macy's or any other store that you think I'd enjoy something from!
- An immersible blender, aka: 'motor blender' 'stick blender' 'death-blade-stick-thing'.
- Spices and tea, anything without banana or chili pepper is my friend.
- A glass teapot with a strainer. The one that I'd saved up to get a few years ago cracked when we moved from the old apartment to here, and I hadn't even gotten to use it yet. Sadface.
- Weird foods I like: anchovies, maple sugar candies (the hard candies are good, but I'm talkin' about the super sugary ones that melt in your mouth and you usually only find at Costplus World Market around Christmas), brownies, Tiger's Milk peanut butter and honey protein/energy bars, dried squid (I find it at Marukai, and it's the one that doesn't have the chili pepper in it), hominy and australian ginger beer.
Like I say every time I post up a list like this, I'm the sort of person that's just happy to have people remember it's my birthday. A card, a photo of something that reminded you of me, cheery birthday wishes, those are all things that I love just as much as any other gift. <3
Allons-y!
- Loki
Monday, May 27, 2013
Saturday, May 18, 2013
The King and the Changeling
Once upon a time, an old king took in a little changeling without a second thought, and raised it like his very own. He taught the little one how to do all sorts of Kingly things-- like changing the oil in the royal carriage, how to properly grow tomatoes (it should be of note that the little changeling never had the self-control not to pick the plant clean as soon as the fruit was ripe), what stars would always take a person home and how to coax fire out of two pieces of wood. He taught the little changeling many, many things-- too many things for the little creature to remember all at once, but lessons that would stay with it over the years to come.
But the most important lesson that the old king ever taught the little changeling was that even though the seasons changed, and the leaves fell from the trees, spring would bring everything back again. It made the little creature cry when the leaves fell- every year, it would sit and sadly watch the trees become bare. The old king would bring a goblet of cider, and wrap a blanket around the child's shoulders before explaining that everything has it's time, and everything had to pass eventually or else the new leaves would never be able to come in the spring. As time went on, and spring brought flowers, leaves and a world of new things, the little changeling grew to believe the old king.
Time kept going (as time does), and the little changeling grew, learning as much as it could from its dear old king before it had to leave, and start a grand adventure of its own. The changeling was never gone for long-- it and the king send missives and letters back and forth, and kept in contact. But as the king's years grew greater and greater, the changeling noticed winter hanging around the noble man. It gathered at his temples, turning his hair to snow, and brought a great weight to the king's shoulders, stooping them. It brought the chills of the cold to his bones, and froze his mind slowly. The little changeling (who wasn't so little anymore) knew that it couldn't stop winter for its king; it heard the words of the man, telling him that all leaves fell so that new ones could come in the spring.
The changeling waited through the world's winter with the old king, with springtime rumbling in its belly. Soon, the changeling brought new life to the world (which is a different story, as the king would say), and the king saw that the new life was good and strong. Spring and winter met, and the little changeling cried when the old king greeted the newest member of the world. His hands were wrinkled and spotted, and trembled with age, but held tight to the fragile new life. The little changeling knew in its heart that this would be the only time that the old king would meet the new child, and treasured every minute of it, though the thought only brought sadness.
The winter continued to creep into the old king's bones, and soon the end was awaited. The world crept into springtime, as the old king's blooms and leaves began to fade. His queen stood steadfast at his side, and the family said goodbye. The little changeling's heart broke when the message arrived that the king had fallen. As the changeling cried, it heard the words of the old king from many, many years before, telling it how all things must come to pass, from the stars to the trees, to old kings.
---
Today, my grandfather passed. He was (it feels so odd to use past tense) the most amazing man that I've ever known; he took my mother and I in when I was barely two months old, without a second thought. He and my grandma did their best to raise me while my mother went to school and did whatever it was that she did. He was (and is) my knight in shining armor, my hero and the person that someday, I hope I have as many amazing stories as he did in the end, and I hope that when I pass, it'll be surrounded my by my children with the love of my life at my side.
He went peacefully. We knew it was coming, so it wasn't a surprise-- I think that having seen how much he was hurting in the end is making it a little bit easier to accept that he's gone. Or I'm numb. I haven't quite figured it out. I'm betting more on the latter than the former. I can only cry so much before I don't have anything left for crying with, you know? I think all people are like that.
I was able to call yesterday and say my goodbyes to him. I told him that he was an amazing dad, and that he made such an impact on so many lives that I hoped he knew how much he meant to not just me, but to everyone else. I told him about Froggy, and how he's got teeth now and is always trying to stand up. I told him happy news, I told him how much I missed him and that I understood. I ended by saying that I hoped he had a good rest and sweet dreams, that I loved him and 'bye'. I don't know how, but I knew that I'd be getting a phone call this morning saying that he'd passed. I dreamed about it last night. We were at the father/daughter dance for cotillion, one of my favorite stories to tell about daddy. He'd fallen off the roof and broken his ankle that day, but didn't say anything to anyone and still did the jitterbug and the twist and the foxtrot with me that night. He knew how important it was to me, and just how much I viewed him as my dad-- not just my grandpa. He didn't want me to have to miss the father/daughter dance at all. When we got home, he couldn't get his shoe off because his ankle/foot was so swollen.... and purple. Anyway, that's the story. But my dream last night, his ankle wasn't broken and I wasn't 9. I was the age I am now, and we were dancing to Frank Sinatra's "You Make Me Feel So Young", just like at my wedding. He told me that things were okay, but that after the dance, he'd have to go. He promised to hug my daughter for me, kissed my forehead and then left. I woke up feeling oddly peaceful and knowing that today, he'd be leaving Midgard for Valhalla.
I'm going to wrap this up here. I have so many more things to say, and no words for them at the moment. I love you, daddy. Thank you for raising me to be able to become the person I am today.
- The little changeling
But the most important lesson that the old king ever taught the little changeling was that even though the seasons changed, and the leaves fell from the trees, spring would bring everything back again. It made the little creature cry when the leaves fell- every year, it would sit and sadly watch the trees become bare. The old king would bring a goblet of cider, and wrap a blanket around the child's shoulders before explaining that everything has it's time, and everything had to pass eventually or else the new leaves would never be able to come in the spring. As time went on, and spring brought flowers, leaves and a world of new things, the little changeling grew to believe the old king.
Time kept going (as time does), and the little changeling grew, learning as much as it could from its dear old king before it had to leave, and start a grand adventure of its own. The changeling was never gone for long-- it and the king send missives and letters back and forth, and kept in contact. But as the king's years grew greater and greater, the changeling noticed winter hanging around the noble man. It gathered at his temples, turning his hair to snow, and brought a great weight to the king's shoulders, stooping them. It brought the chills of the cold to his bones, and froze his mind slowly. The little changeling (who wasn't so little anymore) knew that it couldn't stop winter for its king; it heard the words of the man, telling him that all leaves fell so that new ones could come in the spring.
The changeling waited through the world's winter with the old king, with springtime rumbling in its belly. Soon, the changeling brought new life to the world (which is a different story, as the king would say), and the king saw that the new life was good and strong. Spring and winter met, and the little changeling cried when the old king greeted the newest member of the world. His hands were wrinkled and spotted, and trembled with age, but held tight to the fragile new life. The little changeling knew in its heart that this would be the only time that the old king would meet the new child, and treasured every minute of it, though the thought only brought sadness.
The winter continued to creep into the old king's bones, and soon the end was awaited. The world crept into springtime, as the old king's blooms and leaves began to fade. His queen stood steadfast at his side, and the family said goodbye. The little changeling's heart broke when the message arrived that the king had fallen. As the changeling cried, it heard the words of the old king from many, many years before, telling it how all things must come to pass, from the stars to the trees, to old kings.
---
Today, my grandfather passed. He was (it feels so odd to use past tense) the most amazing man that I've ever known; he took my mother and I in when I was barely two months old, without a second thought. He and my grandma did their best to raise me while my mother went to school and did whatever it was that she did. He was (and is) my knight in shining armor, my hero and the person that someday, I hope I have as many amazing stories as he did in the end, and I hope that when I pass, it'll be surrounded my by my children with the love of my life at my side.
He went peacefully. We knew it was coming, so it wasn't a surprise-- I think that having seen how much he was hurting in the end is making it a little bit easier to accept that he's gone. Or I'm numb. I haven't quite figured it out. I'm betting more on the latter than the former. I can only cry so much before I don't have anything left for crying with, you know? I think all people are like that.
I was able to call yesterday and say my goodbyes to him. I told him that he was an amazing dad, and that he made such an impact on so many lives that I hoped he knew how much he meant to not just me, but to everyone else. I told him about Froggy, and how he's got teeth now and is always trying to stand up. I told him happy news, I told him how much I missed him and that I understood. I ended by saying that I hoped he had a good rest and sweet dreams, that I loved him and 'bye'. I don't know how, but I knew that I'd be getting a phone call this morning saying that he'd passed. I dreamed about it last night. We were at the father/daughter dance for cotillion, one of my favorite stories to tell about daddy. He'd fallen off the roof and broken his ankle that day, but didn't say anything to anyone and still did the jitterbug and the twist and the foxtrot with me that night. He knew how important it was to me, and just how much I viewed him as my dad-- not just my grandpa. He didn't want me to have to miss the father/daughter dance at all. When we got home, he couldn't get his shoe off because his ankle/foot was so swollen.... and purple. Anyway, that's the story. But my dream last night, his ankle wasn't broken and I wasn't 9. I was the age I am now, and we were dancing to Frank Sinatra's "You Make Me Feel So Young", just like at my wedding. He told me that things were okay, but that after the dance, he'd have to go. He promised to hug my daughter for me, kissed my forehead and then left. I woke up feeling oddly peaceful and knowing that today, he'd be leaving Midgard for Valhalla.
I'm going to wrap this up here. I have so many more things to say, and no words for them at the moment. I love you, daddy. Thank you for raising me to be able to become the person I am today.
- The little changeling
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