The List

This is a list of things that I either never expected about being pregnant, that I never thought I'd do and of those fun little surprises that life seems to throw at you when you're carting around a growing Cylon.

This list will be updated as more things come to mind!

1) I never thought I'd be happy about buying a tube of sheep grease to put on my nipples. Ever. In fact, the thought of something even vaguely connected to something that comes off of grimy sheep was (and is) repulsive. But Lanolin is a lifesaver, and therefore is going on the pink bits.

2) How many people would be asking me if I was having "stomach troubles". No, I'm rubbing my stomach because my child is trying to wrench the ligaments away from my hips.

3) Or the "Wow, you've put on weight!". Now, this one isn't so bad for me-- putting on (and keeping on) weight is an accomplishment. But what surprises me is when this comes from strangers.

4) Just how amazing Woosh, G-Chan and Robby would end up being in the moments where I'm embarrassed by something that's just evacuated my body in the middle of the living room. Whether I've laughed and managed to pee myself, or barfed into a can, they do just the right thing. Which is, usually, to completely ignore the fact that I've spontaneously created a colorful mess.

5) Speaking of vomiting- which I've done plenty of over the years thanks to stomach problems - I never realized just how much I could horf up in a single day. I think that my record was something like four times an hour for half a day. Hyperemesis is MISERY.

6) How good it would taste when I scarfed down that first $1 burger from Micky D's after Stormageddon decided that I was going to be a vegetarian.

7) Or how happy I would be to remember there was such a thing as sushi with cooked fish.

8) How often I'd be stopping mid-sentence to glare at my belly and demand that my child "get their feet out of my damn bladder.", then pick up the sentence right where I'd paused. It's been a source of amusement for my friends and family, seeing what body part I'll be demanding the child get their feet/hands/butt out of next.